Tips
From Your School Psychologist
Bullying:
Not Just ‘Kids Being Kids’
Preventing
bullying is a top priority for parents and professionals in our school
community. The behavior interferes with children’s ability to learn and feel
safe. Bullying is not simply a case of “kids being kids,” but is a learned
anti-social behavior that can be unlearned or, better yet, prevented. As adults
we need to create an environment in school and at home where bullying and
teasing are not tolerated under any circumstances.”
Everyone
in our school needs to be committed to eliminating bullying behavior of any
type. Our goal is to help our students understand the appropriate way to treat
others, and to ensure that no one is victimized by cruel or threatening
behavior. As part of this effort we are working to transform what experts call
the “silent majority” into a “caring majority” of students who become part of
the anti-bullying solution. Elements of effective
anti-bullying efforts include:
- Establishing clear consistent consequences for bullying behavior that all
children understand.
- Incorporating positive behavioral interventions with loss of privileges or other
consequences.
- Training for all school personnel including bus drivers, playground monitors, after
school program supervisors, etc.
- Intervening immediately when bullying occurs, praising children when they do the
right thing, and offering children alternatives to bullying.
- Teaching children to work together to stand up to a bully, encouraging them to reach
out to excluded peers, celebrating acts of kindness, and reinforcing the
availability of adult support.
- Ensuring that adults are visible and vigilant in common areas, such as
hallways, cafeterias, locker rooms, and playgrounds. This includes being aware
of behavior on the bus, and on the way to and from school for children who
walk, as these are important parts of the school day.
Parents
can be active partners in preventing bullying. You are your child’s
most important source of support and learning for positive
behaviors. Following are a few suggestions to help your child.
- Be aware of changes behavior or attitudes. Children who are bullied often give
signals that something is wrong. They
may become withdrawn or be reluctant to go to school and can experience
physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, or problems sleeping. Talk
to your child about their concerns and reassure them that you will work with
school to stop the behavior.
- Let us know if your child is being bullied. Call the teacher, myself or the counselor.
- Offer strategies to counter bullying. Useful
strategies include standing up for themselves verbally, such as saying “I don’t
like what you said/or did,” or “You can say whatever you want but it’s not
true;” walking away from the bully; using humor (practice funny comebacks with
your child); thinking of positive images or statements about themselves to
bolster self-esteem; and getting help from an adult.
- Praise your child for appropriate social behaviors. “Catch” your child doing something
good and offer positive reinforcement. Encourage him or her to support their peers, (e.g., asking a lonely
classmate to eat lunch or sticking up for a child being teased). Monitor
television and video games.
- Help your child build positive social relationships. Identify peers with whom they get
along. Suggest things they can do
together, (e.g., study, each lunch, come home after school, go to the
movies). Also, finding a variety of activities
that your child enjoys and does well can help build self-esteem and confidence.
- Use alternatives to physical punishment. Consistent alternatives, such as
the removal of privileges or additional chores, serve as more effective
consequences than physical punishment for inappropriate or difficult behavior.
- Supervise your children and their friends. Stop bullying behavior
immediately. Have the “aggressor” practice alternative behaviors.
It is very
important our children know that adults can and will help them if
they are
being bullied. Please encourage your child to talk to you, me, he
school
counselor or another trusted adult if they feel threatened or
isolated. My door
is always open.
Together we can continue to create a healthy, safe, positive learning
environment for all our children.